The Power Path Solo Journey

My journey started way before I arrived in Albuquerque, New Mexico on September 1, 2018 to celebrate my 43rd trip around the sun and I can see how it is only the beginning of a magical year of new adventures and evolution!

I had plans to attend a Joe Dispenza retreat in Australia in October and then I received an email from Jose and Lena Stevens at The Power Path inviting me to do a solo journey at Eagle Bear Ranch. The 3-day journey is a modern-day version of a traditional Native American vision quest. Our Native American ancestors used to be sent out into the wilderness, naked with only a blanket and no food or water until they received a vision or message from Spirit regarding their purpose here on Earth. Although I was naked by myself in the woods for parts of my stay on the mountain, this was by choice when the sun was out and it was warm. I brought some dry foods and fruits with me and we had a water station to hike to each day to fill our canteens. I chose not to bring a tent, but did have warm clothes, my snow pants, a sleeping bag with mat, and two tarps. One of the tarps was folded under my sleeping bag to keep the ground dry and the other I spread out over me at night while I slept. When I arrived at the top of the mountain, I set up all my supplies quickly to beat the storm coming toward me in the distance.

The first thing I did once I was set up was take off all my clothes. There was no one else in my space and it gave me the opportunity to simply BE out in the wild. I have been on nude beaches before, but there was something different about being naked, alone and vulnerable in the woods. It was exhilarating… especially with the storm brewing in the background. When the storm was overhead, I put my rain poncho on over my naked body and just experienced it. Then, the temperature dropped and it began to hail within only a few minutes so I went and jumped into my sleeping bag under the tarp. The tarp was annoying at first because I couldn’t see anything outside. Instead of lying there in anger, I decided to give my mind a new way of seeing the experience. I began to see the tarp as a cocoon and that it was part of my transformational process. My cocoon was encircled with some small pine cones to create my intentional safe and sacred space. I told the forest and the animals that I respected them and asked them to respect my space while I was visiting with them. This seemed to work with everyone except the mosquitos.

As the hail and rain subsided, I emerged from my cocoon under a beautiful pine tree to put some warm clothes on and walk the labyrinth that was just outside next to my spot. As I got to the middle of it, a lizard ran through and to go under a rock to hide from me. As I sat there, I looked out into the small meadow in front of me. I started to feel annoyed by the mosquitos buzzing around my face and was also grateful for the snow pants and light snow jacket that kept them from biting the rest of my body. However, the constant swatting to keep them from my face was quite distracting at first. As I grounded and came back into focus, I asked whoever was there with me to show themselves. Immediately, I could see three places in front of me that looked different somehow and then in my mind’s eye, I could see two Native American men and a teacher of mine who died a couple years ago. One was standing in each of the spaces. One of the spaces also felt like an entrance to the portal that was this meadow on Condor Ridge at Eagle Bear Ranch.

Then, I was guided to look around behind me, to get a 360 view of my new home. As I turned around and observed the perimeter, I became aware that the trees were talking to me. I could feel my ancestors in them and they were telling me that they were surrounding me and supporting me on this journey. There were two tiny trees that made me cry when I saw them. I could feel the childlike energy of two little beings that speak to me occasionally in my meditations. They guide me at times and now I was experiencing them in the physical form of the trees. It was magical and heartwarming. I felt completely loved and accepted by everything that was around me in that moment. I continued to just sit and listen to the trees as the wind moved through their branches, dropping their pine needles. It was almost sensory overload at times with all the noises and excitement. I continued to see these beings holding space for me the entire time that I was on the mountain. I could also feel the other eleven women on the land with me and the intentions of healing that we were putting out into the world as a collective. The healing work began within each of us and the ripple affect coming off of us was for the planet and all her inhabitants as well. The rain started again as I sat in the middle of the labyrinth, so I decided to move into my cocoon and take a nap.

When I came out from under the tarp again it was getting dark. I didn’t have a watch with me, but I had looked up the time of the sunrise and sunset in my area and was aware that it was about 730pm because the sun was already setting over the hills. The rain did not return until the next day, but I continued to stay in my cocoon and just listen to the sounds of the forest in the darkness. The tarp reminded me of when I had scary dreams as a kid and I would just pull the covers over my head and that became my safe place in the mind. The tarp served in the same way as I lie there in the darkness of the woods. There were definitely some feelings of fear coming up not being able to see what was around me at night. The funny thing was I am usually more concerned about bugs, but they did not enter my circle of pine cones into my sleeping space. I was so grateful.

Although I did not sleep much the first night, or any night for that matter, I awoke each day before dawn. The second day started off with the thought of one down, one to go. I was already counting down the moments until I would be able to go down the mountain. Once I realized this, I shifted my thoughts to gratitude and out of impatience. I went back to the message I received the day before when creating my safe space with the circle of pine cones. I was reminded that it is ok for me to give myself time and space to create what I desire in this world. I was reminded that it is ok to put myself first and that it is actually necessary in order for me to do healing work with others. I remembered that I am worthy of my heart’s desires and this brought up some emotions and thoughts around what I am creating now. It was a powerful moment that allowed me to see clearly and let go of the limiting belief.

Day two was filled with hummingbirds, condors, hawks and the lizard in the labyrinth. I got to watch the lizard run out from under his rock and catch a bee for a meal. He didn’t realize I was sitting there with him until he ran out to get the bee. He then turned his eye in my direction to watch me as he continued to eat. We were friends after that… he actually came and sat on the rock next to me and chilled. The hummingbirds would come right to my face each day and hover in front of me as if they were some drone transmitting a video back to Lena and Jose to show them I was alive and ok as they held space for me back at camp. I realized not having my phone and instant access to the ether world was allowing me to be more aware of my surroundings. I was allowing myself to be more present with all the living beings with me in that moment. Mind you, these are not concepts I was not aware of before and yet it felt like I was being aware in a different way. The condors and hawks flew over each day to say hello, but only one hawk flew into the meadow with me to perch in a tree.

Whenever an animal comes into my experience, I always look up what their “totem meaning” is online. The spirit of each animal has a meaning. I do not live my life by astrology or other psychic readings and I believe they do provide a different perspective. The hawk can represent a messenger of the divine and for one to focus on what’s ahead. It is a signal that it may be a time in your life to prepare to be more in a leadership role. People with condor totems are often visionaries who have endured struggles. Those with this totem are called to recognize the important role they play in the grand scheme of things. Hummingbirds can show us that the sweetest nectar is within. They represent eternity, continuity and infinity. And finally, my friend, the lizard shows me their ability to thrive in such conditions earns them the symbolism of being able to go with the flow and the inherent value of integrating in the wild. All these symbols carry beautiful reminders for me as I continue to allow myself to create my heaven on Earth.

One of the challenges I experienced the second and third morning was a sore lower back. I had a great sleeping mat, but the sleeping bag was too constricting and did not allow me much movement during sleep. Since it was super uncomfortable, it made me get up right at sunrise to do some stretching and move around. I have been working on making this a new habit in the mornings at home, but have not been successful yet. I feel like this back pain gave me the opportunity to practice getting up earlier when I return home. The boredom I experienced in the evenings also gave me the opportunity to go to bed earlier which would allow me to get up earlier. I was able to begin envisioning when I got back to San Jose to change my schedule and make the effort to go to bed before 11pm, so that I am able to get up at 6am to begin my day by creating my safe space before going out into the world. Even adding some stretching to the new habit.

When I woke up on the fourth morning, my 43rd birthday, I felt excited to have been on my own on the mountain and that it was time to return to camp. I turned my phone on to see what time it was and take some pictures of my home during those days and then promptly turned it back off. I began packing up my supplies and realized I did not eat very much. I did not choose to fast when I was up there, but that is what ended up happening. My body was clearing some stuff and didn’t ask for me to add anything more to it. I drank water, but even that was not called for much. I could see that my body was processing and it was supported energetically. I finished packing up around 8am, but our pick up wasn’t until 9am. I decided to head down anyway because I was ready to re-enter the world outside. I sat at the bottom at the road and took in the sights of that part of the land. I just sat there and observed. I enjoyed the calm feeling and allowed the sounds of the cars from the road in the distance be present without feeling annoyed by them.

Lena came to pick us up in a pick-up truck. It was like being a kid again being tossed around in the bed of it as we drove back to camp. I had memories of riding in the back of my Dad’s truck up to the dumps to drop trash when I was young. The wind blowing my hair out of control. It was Awesome! When we arrived at base camp, I showered after four days and scarfed down some breakfast burritos! I actually dreamed of what we would be eating that morning. It was perfect! We then debriefed and shared our experiences during our time alone. One of the women was fortunate enough to have the mountain lion visit her site. What an honor to have this powerful animal move through the space. They represent moving into your power as you move forward into your dreams.

During my stay on the mountain I love that I got to see some of my Native American Ancestors and teachers. I was grateful to feel them in the trees supporting me and holding the space for my transformation. I loved that the condors, hawks, hummingbirds and lizards came to keep me company. I spoke to them out loud and without words. I spoke to the flies and mosquitos, although, they were not as willing to cooperate with my wishes. I saw and felt a huge portal of energy open above me in the sky as the storms moved in each day, most powerfully on the first day. I was shown that the work the group was doing together at their sites was being carried out into the world to support all in their healing process. I saw each of us being worked with as a conduit to bring new, loving energies into the planet. I have seen the same on my journeys to Mexico for my retreats as well. I am excited to see what manifests from this adventure and the new connections.

The messages I received were very clear. The first being that it is ok for me to create time and space for my Self. I was reminded that it is ok for me to make time for my dreams and heart’s desires. I remembered that making time for me to heal first, is important to my practice with other humans. I remembered this is a daily process that will continue the rest of my life. And, I remembered that this is not a chore, it is a privilege. It is a privilege to be able to feel EVERYTHING that we feel in this life. Good, bad or indifferent. I don’t really believe in any of these labels, but for description’s sake, I’ll leave it here. I remembered that commUnity and LOVE is what it’s all about and that it takes a village in order to grow and evolve. I was also reminded to do more physical movement, stretching and to pay attention to what my body is asking for in the way of food, drink, and supplements. And, to continue connecting with others and putting my Self out there!

As I left Eagle Bear Ranch, I felt energized and ready to celebrate my birthday with my friend in Taos. My friend from Mexico, who just so happened to move to Santa Fe, New Mexico two weeks before I arrived. As I drove off the land, my GPS stopped working and I had to pull off the road to find some wifi access. I ended up finding a BBQ place in the middle of nowhere that had the best brisket I have EVER eaten. I then arrived in Taos and wandered with my friend. We decided to hang at the motel bar where they had live music and drink a few martinis to toast my 43 years. There happened to be another person celebrating as well and they shared their cake with me and we all danced for hours. It was lovely! The next morning, we had breakfast with some other friends of mine who happened to be in town as well… So many synchronistic events! Then, we drove to some hot springs on the side of the road in the small town of Las Vegas, New Mexico. The town happens to be home to the United World College. It’s a school for high school students to experience studying abroad. Some of the kids were in the springs with us so we asked them about their experience.

The students shared with us that there was a conservatory on campus that was a sound chamber. In addition, all the windows of the space have prisms built into them and when the sun shines through they create many rainbows in the room. As you can imagine, I was already daydreaming about playing the crystal singing bowls in the space and holding a healing workshop with the kids. So magical! In the evening, I dropped off my friend and got a motel room on the outskirts of downtown Santa Fe. I spoke with another friend on the phone and slept. When I left the next day, I found myself a bookstore café and began writing this story about my journey. While I was there, I received a message from my friend’s sister about joining her at a Jewish synagogue to hear her sing and to celebrate Rosh Hashanah, which is their New Year. My friend texted me the address and I drove there a few hours later.

When I arrived at the synagogue, I realized that the out in the middle of nowhere motel I stayed in the night before was literally right across the street. I laughed and acknowledged the validation that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I walked in and sat down, but the first place I picked didn’t feel right. So, I moved to the right side of the room behind an older man and woman that were standing and talking. The man felt familiar to me, a very kind energy like my Dad, and was endearing. Then, he sat down in the row of chairs in front of me and I immediately felt his heart. I could feel that it was in pain and that he was ill. I felt my channel of healing energy turn on and I simply directed it his way with intention. I was honored to be there.

The ceremony reminded me of a Catholic mass. I was raised Catholic, so the structure and lovely music made me feel right at home. I am not one for religion and I am also able to appreciate certain aspects of it. The singing was so beautiful and my friend’s voice is Amazing! I headed back to Albuquerque to sleep one last night at my friend’s mom’s house. I got to meet another of her sisters and had a lovely conversation. In the morning I spent time with their mother and did some healing work with her as well. I love traveling to new places and making new connections. I always meet the most lovely humans on my journeys. I already see me returning to New Mexico, but driving from California the next time with my instruments and doing a sound healing tour on the way to play there.

I tell you, this trip far exceeded anything that I could have imagined. Then again, my every day life in San Jose seems to be the same each day. I am constantly in a state of awe as I witness all the synchronistic events that occur around me. These synchronicities and serendipities are swirling around Everyone, all the time. Most humans just aren’t aware of them. I live my life by these energies, letting go of the physical world around me. The dream of the planet, is just that, a dream. We are able to change it by changing our thoughts and ways of BEing. I will continue to follow the signs and how I am feeling inside. I will continue to let go of the belief that the mind guides me, and I will guide the mind with my heart. Here’s to many more trips around the Sun in this body and all the adventures that I get to experience… Good, bad or indifferent :)