Inner Child And You, Here, Now...

Hello Loves!!!

Greetings from the Great State of Texas... as they say here! I am loving the weather, the BBQ, the outdoors, live music and my Solitude these days!

May was all about deep diving into my younger Selfs! Especially my 11, 12, and 13 year old selfs. I realized I did not remember much from this time in my life through some work I was doing to see more clearly what might be blocking me now.

What surfaced was a lot of grief and sadness around the death of my dad and dear friend, Troy, 5 and 6 years ago. What showed up after was a remembering of the first times I heard my true voice (my guide(s), the voice of my heart, and how it scared the crap out of me.

At 5 years old, I remember very clearly thinking (or hearing a voice in my head) say, "What am I doing in this child body?". The next thought being, "How long until I get to be an adult and make my own decisions?". In addition, I remember feeling like I did not belong, even though I was very social and got along with everyone.

At 7 years old, when my grandpa died, I felt a profound knowing of something else happening "behind the scenes" of the human experience. I knew we were not simply a body AND I was super pissed that grandpa was leaving when I had just gotten to the planet!

At 9 years old, I experienced hearing my inner voice or protector in a situation that I realize now was very traumatic. I see how after that experience, I started to not be so interested in the kid things I was experiencing like school, parents telling me what to do, and not really having any say in what I got to do or be.

I remember loving school up to 5th grade and was even given the Presidential Academic Award that year, but once I had these knowings of something more than just the physical my outlook changed. Entering middle school felt like hell. I started drinking and smoking during this time of my life and the party continued way into my 30's. I also had the experience of conjuring a spirit at age 11 and that only fueled the fire of fear of connecting with the unseen energies around us.

Now, almost 46 years old, I feel this new start in Texas has opened up some doors within my Self that were previously unnoticed. I would like to remind us all that this inner work is a life long journey. The moment we think (in our limited mind) that we have arrived or finished... the Universe will share something uncomfortable to get us to shift out of the brain space and into the HEART.

I Love You,

Jess