Going DEEP
Thank You, Candace Smith Photography for capturing this photo of me at our Mexico Retreat in June!
Going DEEP within this week... that's what this picture brings me back to! I am still able to remember exactly what I was going into looking at this now... I was contemplating relationships and the "rules" my brain had around them in that moment.
What was coming up for me was the fact that my brain was practicing a pattern of control and believing things had to be a certain way in order for them to be OK. The truth of this moment is the realization that the "rules" my brain wanted to stick to were not loving and could be changed. The question that comes to me now is, "How is it possible for me to be more unconditional in ALL my relationships?".
As of last week, I held my first sound healing session at Elmwood Correctional Facility here in San Jose. I was in service to a group of 20 women residing in the maximum security unit. Most of you are aware that I have been patiently (persistently) sending emails and introducing myself to as many people as possible for over a year in order for this to happen. In addition, I have spent 11 years dreaming about bringing Sound Healing into prisons. To say I was excited to BE there, is a HUGE understatement! Not only was I grateful to BE there, I saw myself being given this wonderful opportunity to really check in with how I am showing up with others in my relationships. Considering that we humans are vibrational BEings and we pick up on each others feelings, it seemed quite beneficial to be aware of where I was coming from as I shared this concept with a this new community.
Since I have been dreaming this for so long and have lived it in my head and felt what it looked like many times before, when I walked into the facility it felt like I had already been there. It felt "normal" in a way because I knew I would be there for years. As I checked in at the lobby of the jail, I had memories of my trips to Mexico with my crystal singing bowls and all the questions about them upon arrival. I would get asked to take them out and show customs agents how they worked every time I got off the plane. I was asked to show the guard at the jail entrance each instrument. I took them all out and packed them all back in only to repeat the process again when I got to the area I was performing. I thought about how simple it is to get around when we are free. We don't have to answer questions, or prove intentions, or move through many locked doors. Well, maybe we do this in our minds, but we don't have to do it physically on demand.
As I set up my instruments in the cement exercise yard under a chain link fence ceiling, I was imagining how I wanted the experience to unfold. I imagined the ladies feeling welcomed as they entered the space. I imagined them feeling safe and loved and that we were able to create this space within those walls. I saw and felt in my mind and body all the women having an experience that was one they enjoyed and wanted to repeat. I wanted their one hour out of their cells to be as peaceful as possible.
As the group entered, I helped to set up chairs for some of the women and then introduced myself. I had to stand up and speak loud over the outside noises coming in through the chain link ceiling above. I had a calm come over my body even though I felt like I was yelling a bit. As I shared a little about what we would be experiencing, I imagined my guides and unseen friends coming in to support me. I know how powerful our minds can be and when we give them a loving focal point to go to, we are able to stay in that energy. Humans simply forget sometimes that we are able to create anything we desire from a clear and centered place.
The session was received well. Some of the women were smiling with their eyes closed while I was playing. One of the women was moving her arms and legs like she was swimming through the sounds while on her mat. Other women were sitting with eyes open and arms crossed at first, but as I continued to play, they began to let go and allow their body to relax. The participants were able to close their eyes and rest, outside in the sun, in a place that does not really support rest regularly and I got to be a part of creating the experience. I was deeply humbled and honored to support them in letting go of that fact that they are in jail. Maybe it was only for a physical hour and it was beautiful to witness. Almost everyone asked when I could come back and share again.
What was very clear for me during the session is that my relationship with the participants in the jail is no different than an intimate relationship with a partner or a family member. Every day we are connecting in with others energetically and with intentions (conscious or unconscious). We intertwine our energetic cords and sometimes exit the experience without being aware of what our intentions were moving into it or how we chose to move out of it. I could see that because I have such deep compassion for these women, it made it easy for me to allow them whatever experience they desired without attachment. Sometimes this feels challenging for me with those that are close because in my mind I feel like they "should act differently" somehow because they haven't experienced the same trauma as these women or the fact they are not in jail.
What I am grateful for most in this experience is the awareness of my ability to meet people where they're at and for the sweet reminder that it is possible to be unconditional with Everyone, including my Self. When we have awareness, we have choice. I also remember that I am human and that I may not be successful every time, but at least I am BEing aware. I look forward to the future weekly sessions I will be performing in each of the areas of Elmwood. Thank You, Carry the Vision for allowing me to BE a part of a team bringing these transformational practices into the facility to offer rehabilitation and healing on all levels. And a HUGE Thank You to Irma for your support and assistance in making this a reality!
Are You wanting to BE more aware in your daily experiences? Are You seeking a to BE at peace and grounded in your life? Are You interested in learning how to let go of other people's energies?
Schedule a private session at my office or get a copy of my book HERE!