CONNECT WITH THE FLOW OF RECEIVING
Hello Loves,
Spring has sprung here in Texas! We’ve had two good rains and everything is green again. Moving out to the country was the best decision I ever made.
These last few weeks have been quite opening for me. Lots of information around receiving and how I am allowing my Self to receive, or not. There has also been pondering around what may be blocking me from receiving in the first place.
What has revealed itself to be the underlying stream are the conscious and unconscious judgments swimming around in my head lately. I may not be verbalizing them, but the energy of judgment is being projected out. Usually, humans are operating from the energy of victim or judge throughout the day in their experiences. Humans are usually unconscious of this energy because it can be very subtle sometimes. And other times it seems to be a very deeply engrained habit that the person is simply not aware of because it is their way of BEing. It’s what they know. Question is… Who would I be without the judgments if this is all I have known to practice to this point?
One of the chapters in my book is all about this and there is even an exercise to practice to help be aware of where you’re coming from energetically. I was brought back to this practice of noticing this last week. When we begin to consider doing something different than the pattern the mind and body have been practicing in autopilot the ego will begin to scream louder than usual in my experience. I know when the voices in my head are getting louder and more frequent that I am not coming from my heart space. This is my cue to go further in, so I am able to connect further up.
Lately, I have felt more acutely aware of my thoughts than usual. I have noticed an immediate shift in my perspective as I allow my Self to be more present in my environment. When I am able to be aware if it doesn't feel aligned and notice when I don’t feel able to shift, I am BEing quiet and observing a little more, a little longer.
In past experiences, I have tended to judge myself intensely over these feelings and for a long period of time. I have held grudges and judgments of others and have felt the physical sickness that came with holding onto it all. To this day, the first place I feel the disharmony is in my gut… nothing I eat will digest.
In the last few weeks, I have been able to really tap into how I am feeling exactly in each moment. My usual knowing in any decision is a strong feeling within me. I have been feeling this around relationships more recently and have been able to feel into the “yes” or “no” of being in connection with that person or group and then make that decision very quickly. I now find it easier to make the decision to remove myself in the moment. Whereas in the past, I would feel it necessary to exhaust every aspect before walking away even when I knew deep down inside it was time to move on.
I know the urge to “fix” and “try” to “make things work” comes from my upbringing and watching a lot of unhappy adults stay in unhappy relationships. If I want to receive a loving relationship, I must be aware of the things I am cultivating in my current ones. I must also be aware of what I am focusing on in these current relationships. I see more clearly with each experience the opportunity to allow my Self to walk away (or stay) now without explaining or going into detail, platonic or otherwise. Even if I feel different later, in that present moment it is beneficial to honor what I am feeling to do so I am not stuck in the old pattern of settling.
Check in with your relationships. Check in to see if you’re on the path of least resistance in them because what we project is what we attract. Be aware of what your relationships are mirroring back to you. Are you “trying” to change the other? My friend and teacher Troy used to say that the fastest way to grow and evolve is through an intimate partner and/or your children. You have that mirror in front of your face 24/7 to remind you of what you’re working on inside.
I do my best to see the opportunity for growth even when it feels uncomfortable or downright hard. Tap into these opportunities to let go, allow, and receive. You will notice more synchronicities and know when they are yours for the taking.
Thank YOU for tuning in, connecting, and creating with me!
I Love You,
Jess