Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which someone who feels the “victim” undergoes a change of feeling and attitude toward another who has perceivably done something that caused them to feel offended. Many people are inclined to hang onto this victim mentality. However, when we let go of the un-loving feelings (i.e. revenger, anger, resentment) we allow ourselves to be in our power instead of stuck in the energy of the victim. We allow our innate ability to be non-attached to what others believe affect us or our decisions. What most people tend to believe is that they only need to forgive the other person, when really if we don’t see our participation in the experience first, how can we ever truly let go?
Usually when I feel offended by something or someone, I ask myself how I may have attracted it. Meaning, I ask myself what my attitude or thoughts were when I incurred this so-called offense. See, it’s never about the other person. They are simply mirroring us in that moment. They are showing us something that we may be hanging onto in the cellular memory. Our brains are not the only place we store memories in our body. Each and every one of our trillions of cells has a memory that it carries as well. Whether it is a pleasant or traumatic memory is entirely up to you.
Forgiveness may seem to be difficult or impossible for people if they do not take responsibility not just for their actions, but more importantly, their thoughts. As Mike Dooley would say, “Our thoughts become things… Choose the good ones.” When the words flowing from our mouth are not in alignment with the thoughts in our head, some mixed signals can be sent subconsciously. Maybe you’ve had to ask a person ten times to do the same thing and now when you ask again, your words may sound loving, but the thought in your head is, “Why can’t you just do what I asked you to do?”. What do you believe that person is picking up on? Is it the kind words coming out of your mouth, or the un-loving thoughts in your head?
We are vibrational beings. We pick up subtle shifts in energy, whether we are aware of it consciously, or not. Think about a time that you were walking down the street and you had a feeling about another person walking near you. Maybe you had the feeling that it would be best for you to move away from that person. Maybe you were picking up on the un-loving thoughts or feelings they were having in the moment of passing by. There are also the times that we think of someone so strongly that they reach out to us or say they were just thinking of us when we connect. These are examples of being connected to the vibrations (thoughts) of another.
When we choose to consciously change our thoughts from un-loving to loving (forgiveness), we begin to change our environment. Remember… Everything is Energy. When we become a master of awareness or a master of our thoughts, we project a different vibe out into the world. Like when you choose to walk down the street with a smile on your face, you tend to get a smile back from others. On the other hand, when you get out of bed in the morning and think, “Today is going to be a shitty day!”, notice how your day unravels by setting that intention. I imagine the day didn’t go so well. Best you can do is forgive yourself for the un-loving intention and move forward.
So what is your thought now in this moment? Check in. Is it loving or un-loving?
Are you interested in more guidance on how to change the thoughts you are choosing? Connect with me for a FREE Clarity Session today 408-398-8956.